THE JUICE
[enhancement:reach]
[retrival:journalling]
[obsolescence: op-ed]
[reversal:narcissism]
[retrival:journalling]
[obsolescence: op-ed]
[reversal:narcissism]
Sunday, February 26, 2006
GET OFF THE INTERNET!! APK-47
I'm back and I'm black. Devotees will notice that there's been a bit of a lull in my blogpotence lately. I've had a lot going on and part of that entailed me leaving town.
Back to London for part of good ol' "Reading Week". My father did not know how to purchase or set up a computer so I went back to do that stuff for him, as well as to see some VIP's of the London scene...
The following happened on the unstoppable London, Ontario Tuesday night, the night that dreams are made of!! I apologize for the picture quality... These were developed by "Stacy" at the Wal-Mart photo centre.
I rolled over to Calvin's parent's crib at 41 Lloyd Manor Crescent in London, Ontario to start the evening. We were going to head down to the Alex P. Keaton later, so we proceeded to get pre-drunk and brainstorm ideas for the evening.
I had an idea. It wasn't great... After a few minutes of deliberation, we decided instead to ressurect an old classic. GET OFF THAT THING! Get off that thing! is a game of our invention circa 2001. Basically, in order to play, you need two or more people (three or more is best, but it can be played with two), climbing skills, pointing skills, and photo-taking skills. Player one finds a thing, and gets on it. Player two points at player one and says, clearly and commandingly, "get off that thing!". Player two or player three document the event using a preferably disposeable camera. This night's "GET OFF THAT THING!" was dedicated to Josh Zaslow.
Calvin demonstrates, with the assistance of his sister Tess, who was more than glad to leave her math homework and Winter Olympics viewing to play GET OFF THAT THING!
At the Alex P. Keaton. This picture is included for clarity's sake. Despite what appears to be an obvious instance of GET OFF THAT THING!, there is no such activity going on here. Calvin is merely on a thing. That is all. Just making sure you're still following.
We needed reinforcements. It's hard to play GET OFF THAT THING! with only two people.
Our good buddy dayn came along after work and brought with him Alex Dodd, recent refugee of far reaches of space galaxy. Here Alex Dodd and Calvin show the camera how many middle fingers they have. That's right, Alex Dodd has NO middle fingers.*
Brie had been pounding Martinis back at the bar with the highest "who gives a fuck what we call it" quality in London, The Martini Bar. She dragged her friend Danielle down to the APK to enjoy the lovely atmosphere.
Oh now that's what I'm talking about! Dayn got us going by getting on the neighbour's table. Alex Dodd said "GET OFF THAT THING!" like a champ and exhibited excellent locked-elbow full-extention pointing technique. Calvin snuck in for the Klingon point like the Kelly Gruber he is, but he made up for his attempted glory stealing by displaying uncanny point-parrallelism with Alex.
I got on the window. I think this is a pretty good one because Dayn is telling me to GET OFF THAT THING!, but oh, the irony! I was using Dayn for support the whole time! Also, I need to say, this is kind of a half-assed point. His whole body language is wrong. I just don't believe Dayn in his heart truly wants me to get off that thing. He is better at getting on things than he is at telling people to get off them. I'd rather get off that thing than get off your mom, Dayn!
Danielle did not want to be photgraphed but still wanted to play along. Her empty drink got on top of her full drink. Brie and I both said "GET OFF THAT THING!" and mixed it up a bit by simultanenously employing both overhand and underhand pointing technique. Also note again, excellent pointing parallelsim.
Ok here is a much better effort from Dayn. Notice the double-point he employed here. He is pointing at Alex Dodd to tell him to GET OFF THAT THING!, but just in case Alex was is not clear about what he is supposed to be getting off of, Dayn is also pointing at THAT THING! Brilliant. Even Calvin, a seasoned GET OFF THAT THING! pro, was stunned. I also like the severe angles on the pointing arms. Very action. Very action.
Brie and I went outside, where she delivered one of the best facial reactions to being told to GET OFF THAT THING! that I have ever seen. It looks like a deer in the headlights being told to GET OFF THAT THING!, in that case, the thing probably being the road. Right before this, she tried to get on this homeless guy who was drinking outside of the APK, but he didn't really understand GET OFF THAT THING!, and he thought we were trying to kick him off of the patio, and then he started telling us that it was his birthday, and then he got kicked off the patio for real by a bouncer. Happy Birthday!
Then we high-fived some stop signs for a while and went home.
There is fucking nothing to do in London.
It's really good to be back in Torono.
But GET OFF THAT THING! is the game of the gods.
The next morning I ate english muffins in Brie's parents' kitchen while we killed the roll of photos. I was talking to Tristan on the phone about how Alex Dodd doesn't have any middle fingers.
"Isn't that fucked?" I said.
"Uh, are you sure about that?", replied Tristan.
"Yeah man, I have photographic evidence"
"Wow, ok. I'll see you tonight then, later."
"Goodbye, friend."
And that was the last time I heard from Tristan. May he rest in peace.
*Damn I wish I could have put captions like that in my High School yearbook. Wait, I guess I could have. Fuck.
Back to London for part of good ol' "Reading Week". My father did not know how to purchase or set up a computer so I went back to do that stuff for him, as well as to see some VIP's of the London scene...
The following happened on the unstoppable London, Ontario Tuesday night, the night that dreams are made of!! I apologize for the picture quality... These were developed by "Stacy" at the Wal-Mart photo centre.
I rolled over to Calvin's parent's crib at 41 Lloyd Manor Crescent in London, Ontario to start the evening. We were going to head down to the Alex P. Keaton later, so we proceeded to get pre-drunk and brainstorm ideas for the evening.
I had an idea. It wasn't great... After a few minutes of deliberation, we decided instead to ressurect an old classic. GET OFF THAT THING! Get off that thing! is a game of our invention circa 2001. Basically, in order to play, you need two or more people (three or more is best, but it can be played with two), climbing skills, pointing skills, and photo-taking skills. Player one finds a thing, and gets on it. Player two points at player one and says, clearly and commandingly, "get off that thing!". Player two or player three document the event using a preferably disposeable camera. This night's "GET OFF THAT THING!" was dedicated to Josh Zaslow.
Calvin demonstrates, with the assistance of his sister Tess, who was more than glad to leave her math homework and Winter Olympics viewing to play GET OFF THAT THING!
At the Alex P. Keaton. This picture is included for clarity's sake. Despite what appears to be an obvious instance of GET OFF THAT THING!, there is no such activity going on here. Calvin is merely on a thing. That is all. Just making sure you're still following.
We needed reinforcements. It's hard to play GET OFF THAT THING! with only two people.
Our good buddy dayn came along after work and brought with him Alex Dodd, recent refugee of far reaches of space galaxy. Here Alex Dodd and Calvin show the camera how many middle fingers they have. That's right, Alex Dodd has NO middle fingers.*
Brie had been pounding Martinis back at the bar with the highest "who gives a fuck what we call it" quality in London, The Martini Bar. She dragged her friend Danielle down to the APK to enjoy the lovely atmosphere.
Oh now that's what I'm talking about! Dayn got us going by getting on the neighbour's table. Alex Dodd said "GET OFF THAT THING!" like a champ and exhibited excellent locked-elbow full-extention pointing technique. Calvin snuck in for the Klingon point like the Kelly Gruber he is, but he made up for his attempted glory stealing by displaying uncanny point-parrallelism with Alex.
I got on the window. I think this is a pretty good one because Dayn is telling me to GET OFF THAT THING!, but oh, the irony! I was using Dayn for support the whole time! Also, I need to say, this is kind of a half-assed point. His whole body language is wrong. I just don't believe Dayn in his heart truly wants me to get off that thing. He is better at getting on things than he is at telling people to get off them. I'd rather get off that thing than get off your mom, Dayn!
Danielle did not want to be photgraphed but still wanted to play along. Her empty drink got on top of her full drink. Brie and I both said "GET OFF THAT THING!" and mixed it up a bit by simultanenously employing both overhand and underhand pointing technique. Also note again, excellent pointing parallelsim.
Ok here is a much better effort from Dayn. Notice the double-point he employed here. He is pointing at Alex Dodd to tell him to GET OFF THAT THING!, but just in case Alex was is not clear about what he is supposed to be getting off of, Dayn is also pointing at THAT THING! Brilliant. Even Calvin, a seasoned GET OFF THAT THING! pro, was stunned. I also like the severe angles on the pointing arms. Very action. Very action.
Brie and I went outside, where she delivered one of the best facial reactions to being told to GET OFF THAT THING! that I have ever seen. It looks like a deer in the headlights being told to GET OFF THAT THING!, in that case, the thing probably being the road. Right before this, she tried to get on this homeless guy who was drinking outside of the APK, but he didn't really understand GET OFF THAT THING!, and he thought we were trying to kick him off of the patio, and then he started telling us that it was his birthday, and then he got kicked off the patio for real by a bouncer. Happy Birthday!
Then we high-fived some stop signs for a while and went home.There is fucking nothing to do in London.
It's really good to be back in Torono.
But GET OFF THAT THING! is the game of the gods.
The next morning I ate english muffins in Brie's parents' kitchen while we killed the roll of photos. I was talking to Tristan on the phone about how Alex Dodd doesn't have any middle fingers."Isn't that fucked?" I said.
"Uh, are you sure about that?", replied Tristan.
"Yeah man, I have photographic evidence"
"Wow, ok. I'll see you tonight then, later."
"Goodbye, friend."
And that was the last time I heard from Tristan. May he rest in peace.
*Damn I wish I could have put captions like that in my High School yearbook. Wait, I guess I could have. Fuck.
5 Comments:
live it.