It’s the city. It’s the dream. It’s all about the end of the world.





The dream always comes. We spread out our picnic on the arcing arm of the 427 reaching over and down to the gardiner, the long, straight artery stretching into the heart of the empty city.

That feeling, when grew wings made of soaring guitar solos on a highway in the sky over the city of lights. We fucking blasted off. We could have been the ones to explode at Cape Canaveral. We could have been huge. Who am I kidding, we had the same faulty seals in our solid fuel boosters; we exploded, we were glorious. We were huge.






And the slow motion walk towards the camera, as the building I’ve just exited buckles and explodes… The wind from the explosion flutters my hair and my unbuttoned shirt. I flick away the best cigarette I’ve ever smoked. My skin glistens with sweat and grime and the sun glints off my sunglasses. Credits roll.






We were born in cellophane and excess packaging. Predestined to receive the mass message of collective individuality. Memories sold separately.


---

Are you that someone whose eyes I can look into for a long time, without you looking away or commenting on it or anything? Someone who’ll just let me stare deep into them with my hand on their cheek… and let everything I want to feel and say just fall out of me and float in the space between us?

Following my APK GET OFF THAT THING! post, and the subsequent History of GET OFF THAT THING! post, Jess has been haranguing me to get her in on a game. I felt like this was the perfect occasion to propose such a trial run. Jess has been anticipaing this for a while; she had already chosen her preferred role in the game:
"I think I'd be really good at getting on things. I can't see myself really authoritatively telling people to get off of things, but I think I'd really like to get on some things."
Or she said something like that anyway. It's funny, 'cause I always had her pegged for more of a "Player 2" than a "Player 1". Here is her first attempt. Jess got on the windowsil beside our table. She got up there with a lot of enthusiasm, but "Sorry Jess", I'm not buying it. That facial expression ooozes nervousness and embarassment. Is that blushing? Jess is blushing. That's a big no-no. Also what's with the lah-deee-da jazz hands Jess? It's your first try, but so far I'm not impressed. Now that said, this is about the WORST job I have ever done telling someone to GET OFF THAT THING! I look like a fucking trout or something, and that point is just flacid. Bad effort all-around - not a good way to get started.


This guy is the real loser though. He looks a hell of a lot like a guy I used to go to high-school whose name is phoenetically identical to mine, but that's not his problem. After Jess got down from that thing, we felt like we had some momentum, were in the process of explaining the game to a nearby group, with the eventual goal of getting on their table and playing GET OFF THAT THING! Then this cheif (I fucking guarantee his name is like, Chad, or Jeremy or something of equivalent douchery, like Jayson with a "y") decides to get on the thing that Jess just got off of! This is a MAJOR violation of GET OFF THAT THING! ethics. You NEVER get on the same thing that someone just got off of. If you think you can do it better, you don't try to upstage them on the same thing, you get yourself on a different, nearby thing. Duane here got what was coming to him though, 'cause he immediately got his ass kicked out of the bar. Sorry Mongo, next time let us finish explaining the rules!


Alright this is much better. It has a lot to do with Brie's involvement, as she is officially the best female GET OFF THAT THING! player ever, and definately one of the very best overall. She simply cannot believe that Jess is on that thing. Brie is pissed, and she means business. Looking at this picture, I can hear her camp-counsellor voice demanding that Jess GET OFF THAT THING! Hand on hip, great underhand point with a tonne of wrist action, and notice the excellent alignment of point and stare. It's unsettling. *Shiver*. Jess is also doing a waaaaay better job in this one than in her first try. I think we can chalk the initial awkwardness up to inexperience. She's confident and in charge here, and looks like a statue. She needs a fur hat, a Scottish flag, some pelts, a canoe, a Native-Canadian friend, and like a harbour and a mountain and an exploding munitions ship in the background and she could be on the cover of my 8th grade history textbook. Much more determination showing in the facial expression; the embarassment has been replaced with stubbornness. I also like the the repetition shown in Jess' and Brie's elbow positions. I should clarify what this guy is doing here. He is the thing. He looks like the sort of guy who doesn't mind being objectified. His total lack of knowledge as to "what is going on here" is made apparent from his "photo with grandma" shit-eating smile. Judging from his shirt he is a life-sciences student from Sault-St. Marie. Jess is putting up a damn good fight, but Brie has a very good argument. Jess should GET OFF THAT THING!

Oh now this is just fucking great. Matt and Courtney successfully risked expulsion from the bar by getting on this little suppository-shaped table. I like the dynamism and sense of precariousness they created up there. Matt has clearly staked out his space, and he's riding that table like an old hat. Courtney, however is way too caught up in the moment to make a serious go of it, but she is still enjoying herself and trying to stay on the thing, and that's really why we play the game. Let's call her "Player 1.5". Jess and Brie are both aware of who the real threat is, and their fingers are pointing directly to Matt. Being confronted with such a demand has clearly stunned Matt, and his face is saying "Wha--? Are they telling me to GET OFF THAT THING?!!?!?" He doesn't know what to do. No chance. But who would have one? Jess looks like she means business here. I was right, she is a better "Player 2". She is using the wrong arm here, but still keeps the body position open and the facial expression clear. I think Jess's point lacks a little authority in contrast with Brie's, but that's like playing footy with Mia Hamm. Brie's point is great, but overall I've seen better stuff from her. Closed body position and totally hidden facial expression.


RESULT: ALL ARE WINNER!

Then why not live here?
$580/month from May1 to Sept1 gets you a room in the third-floor apartment of this building here, at Queen St. West and Portland. Everything is included in that figure: all utilities, cable tv, high-speed wireless internet, and telephone with unlimited long-distance in North America. It's a great location in the heart of hip-and-happening Queen St. West; you can walk to pretty much anything you need, and oh so conveniently close to Subway. Mmmm..

The catch is you have to live with Julia and Mark for the whole summer. They're pretty cool people though. Julia is a photography student at Ryerson and she likes Lost, her fish, Lululemon, grilled-cheese sandwiches, emo music, Y&R, and Jake Gyllenhaal. Mark is an English/Sociology/History/Philosophy/Media Theory student at UofT and he likes sneakers, hockey, The Office, indie music, grilled-cheese sandwiches and the Blue Jays.
You might meet the other people in the above picture as well. Vanessa is the person you'll be subletting from. She likes the early-1990's, veganism, and going home to Waterloo for the summer. Brie is a modern woman-about-town. She likes indie power-pop, "fashion", and Cadbury Creme Eggs. Jess is an International Interesting Person. She likes blogging, beards, and Vanuatu.


Let's cut to the chase: this could be your bedroom! It's 8' x 14'. There are no windows but it does have a skylight.


We'll get all this crap out of here. There is as much furniture available as you need. Bed, desk, dresser, nightstand, whatever. We've also got a couple fans.


There's a little window that goes into the hallway. We have noooooo clue at all why it's there. The room is purple on one wall right now, the rest of it is white. If purple's not your thing, feel free to bring some paint.


This is the hallway, the door to the available room is just off to the left. Entrances to Mark's room and the kitchen are ahead, and the bathroom and the vanity are off to the right.


The kitchen. Oooooh. The door leads out the back to a fire-escape and a patio. The guy downstairs says we can use his BBQ. Thanks, Trevor!


More of the kitchen. We actually have two blenders; sometimes we have milkshake races.


This is the bathroom. It is what it is. Feel free to draw on the door, or paint the toilet tank lid, or pretty much anything else actually.


This is the vanity, also known as "Bathroom 1.5"


This is the entranceway, affectionately known as the "lobby". As you may have observed, there is no consistent colour scheme in this house. There are about 67 different paint colours on the walls. The purple door here actually has a little red square in the top left corner. Seriously. But that adds character..?


The rest of the lobby. It's got all this stuff in it right now because we're helping a friend out and letting her crash in our living room. She's gone at the end of April and this will be a lot less cluttered. We've got a spacious living room at the front of the house (to the left of this picture) that is well-ventilated and great to hang out in. It's about 14' x 16' and has ample lounging potential.

Overall the apartment has a wonky layout but there's lots of living space and privacy at the same time. We're friendly people who do our best to be clean and orderly. As you can see there's lots of art up on the walls (sometimes literally) and you, as a future tenant, are encouraged to use the apartment to express yourself.

E-mail mark.homer@utoronto.ca

Have you forgotten that you exist?

Chances are, you have. You're like me -- comfortably numb.

But underneath the wheels lie the skulls of every cog.

I'm going to read Jean-Paul Sartre's "Nausea" again, to scare myself.

My dreams have felt so authentic of late, but my memories are blurred around the edges - within, the colours all bleed together.







If I could, I would make you a raging river, with angry rapids, supplied with rain.
So you could always meander, and forever be able to run away.