No matter how fucking awesome you remember it being, Alpha-Geti sucks. About two-thirds of the way through the can I stopped chewing the noodles with hopes that the still-whole alphanoodles would spell something illuminating, come the time of what at that point seemed like an inevitable churling episode. As of 9:30pm, that hasn't happened, but I imagine if it had the noodles would have spelled something like:
"DON'T EAT ALPHA-GETI"
Alpha-Geti are all capital letters. Is that kind of rude? No, you say, they are noodles, manners are foreign to them. Well they seem to have developed some capacity for language, being themseles the manifest form of the most basic linguistic structure, of course of written language. Manners, and this particular brand of such which represents this conduct at its utmost disrepute, rudeness, are born out of speech patterns, not written language. However, the form of rudeness under examination here is textual, at least in terms of the medium by which it delivers, but although knowing this, we must be mindful of the grounds on which "all-caps" is deemed "rude" - it is read as electronic "shouting", which is a parat of spoken language. The tomato-y stuff in the can isn't called "Phenome-Geti", so it can't be intentionally rude. If anyone followed that, you get bonus points, you just have to claim them. And I have some communication theory books to lend you.
I started to write like Jose Saramago for a bit there. If anyone ever accuses you of using too many run-on sentences, just say you're dropping some stream-of-consciousness on their area and start evasively referencing Tom Wolfe and James Joyce. And Jose Saramago. Oh, lordy Jose Saramago. I said that the previous paragraph was stylistically similar to his prose... but really, if he wrote it there would have been maybe, oh, one period in the whole thing? Instead of my, like, seven? Seven? Six? I'm not counting them. Whatever. It's something like six or seven.
Here are my summer reading prescription to everyone who is not me and has a tolerance for "alternative" punctuation styles, and is open to a bit of a mindfuck:
Jose Saramago - "All The Names"
Jose Saramago - "Blindness"
and a bit more in the shallow end of things
Dave Eggers - "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius"
ALSO:
I hope William Shatner never dies.
also, I paid attention, and I understand that the way you write, more than what you write, is a direct reflection of yourself. until you decide to throw Jose Saramago into the picture. then its a mockery of him, and as well, makes you a mystery. the only thing we know of you is that you had a bad experience eating ALPHA-GHETTO last night. which millions probably did.
Don't deny it.
Marko gets 2 stars (**) for being such a cock rancher.
once you have reached 25 stars you get a free prize!
calvin, i wasn't trying to write like jose saramago - it was just an observation about myself that i made in retrospect, which, ironically makes it a little more saramago. and i'm confused as to how that makes my post a "mockery"...
As for writing like Jose whathisnuts, I don't know what he writes like, but you have to admit I often speak in a "stream of conciousness" esque style. I like to vary my rants with lots of short sentences with periods, and then some of my rants are composed of one entirely too long sentence which I usually stop myself with by saying the end.
The End.
But thanks for not accusing me of mocking someone, just 'cause you're not particularily familiar with them.
Do you get bonus points for understanding that post... I forget let me check... Yeah you do. You have reclaimed the lead. Congratulations.
Because he was born.
I forget what the noodles taste/look like