THE JUICE
[enhancement:reach]
[retrival:journalling]
[obsolescence: op-ed]
[reversal:narcissism]
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
THE INTERVENTION
NEIGHBOUR JIM: Sam? Please, take a seat. We're all here to talk to you about a problem we think you have, that we want to help you with.






SAM: Wha-? This is crazy I don't have a problem-






FRIEND STEVE: It's the Oil, Sam. It's tearing you apart. You're addicted.





NEIGHBOUR JIM: You need to stop. You're using way too much. Every day you're using using using. Some days you just get up and use and sit around all day, completely ignorant of reality.





SAM: That's not true at all, I'm completely fine... Oh, Barbara, not you too!?





BARBARA WIFE: Yes honey, we all agree. It's made you sick - you can hardly breathe; you never exercise and you're getting fat, and... you never have the energy or desire to be intimate with me anymore. All you seem to care about is using Oil and how you're going to get your daily fix.





SAM: Ahhh I can't take this I need some Oil now... where is it...




NEIGHBOUR JIM: You won't find any in your usual stash, Sam. Jesus Christ man, in the garage? Right next to your kids bikes? Right there for them to see what their old man's become? What, did you want your little Chad and Rosie to be like their dad, and get addicted to Oil too? What kind of a message are you sending them, Sam?




ELLEN NEIGHBOUR: And it's eating away at your money Sam. Barbara showed Jim and I your finacial situation. You're very in debt. You've got to kick the Oil. You're spending away your children's future.






YOUR LITTLE CHAD AND ROSIE: Please don't spend away our future. You don't need Oil. We love you without the Oil.





SAM: Oh, Kids... No, I want to, stop, but... I need it. Just a little bit. One last time.




NEIGHBOUR JIM: No, Sam. No more oil.




SAM: Where is it? What did you do with my Oil? I'm getting angry...





FRIEND STEVE: Stay calm, Sam... don't do anything you might regret-




SAM: Don't make me hurt someone! I'll do it! I'll do it!
6 Comments:
Blogger Counter Mag said...
this is amazing and completely uncommentable. if I was your teacher, I would just put the star sticker on it, or maybe the apple, and write Excellent Work!

Blogger june_yah said...
That was fantastic.

But did you use a picture of your dad? it looked like it.

Blogger passthejuice said...
nope, not my dad


close, though.

wait. have you ever seen my dad???

that'd be weird, consiering i don't think you've ever even seen me in person...


do you guys hang out?

Blogger Tristan said...
dude, fuck. fuck. I love it. Fuck. Fuck. dude, dude.

Blogger calvin said...
I hang out with your dad. we play slo-pitch and do the go carts, and one time he got me DIPPY at 45 homewood ave. It was more like....DRIPPY

Anonymous Anonymous said...
the guy that I think is suposed to be sam, really looks like a mix between Mikey and Mr Irwin